


Moments

by Meriani



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: and angsty the next, canonverse, it can be cute and happy in one chapter, it's a bit of everything really, mostly set during the four years timeskip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-08 11:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15242046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meriani/pseuds/Meriani
Summary: A collection of small texts I write as little snippets, just because. Mostly, these will be set during or after the four years timeskip in the mangas (so potential spoilers up to then). Various characters will appear, but expect a lot of Jean and Armin because I love them.





	1. Haircut

**Author's Note:**

> Let's begin with something I place somewhere in the first year of the timeskip.

After shower, Armin stood at a mirror, tugging at one of his long blond locks, mouth set in a displeased line. He was getting fed up with these. The idea of cutting his hair had already been in the back of his mind for some time now, even before the battle of Shiganshina, but he had kept on pushing it back. Other, more important thing had been demanding his attention.

But right now, for some reason, he could stand the familiar strands less and less. It was stupid, he knew, his hair had nothing to do with his current state. But he needed the change.

He stood there for a moment, worrying his lips, then reached a decision, straightened and went in search of Mikasa.

 

She took the scissors from his hands:

“How do you want it?”

“Cut it short.”

She creased her brow:

“Is that all?”

“Yes. Just…short. Do whatever you want for the rest.”

Mikasa stared at him for about a second, brow still creased, then nodded.

“Okay. Sit down.”

It wasn’t the first time Mikasa was cutting his hair. They had both come to appreciate these quiet moments a lot. And, as Armin sat down and Mikasa sat behind him, he was acutely aware of how much he’d missed these times together. He was glad she hadn’t asked any questions about the reason behind his sudden decision. He guessed she knew, or at least, had a good idea about why he’d asked her help.

As Mikasa gently pulled a comb through his still-wet hair, Armin closed his eyes and concentrated on the moment, the pleasant feeling of the comb on his scalp, the warmth of Mikasa’s presence and how much passed wordlessly between them during this time. Soon, the silence was broken by the little snipping sounds of the working scissors, and those of hair falling down. Neither of them talked, or even felt the need to. Why do that? Most of their bond had always been made of glances, gestures and actions, and much less of actual talking.

For now, Armin let his mind dwell solely on the present. As always, this moment soothed him, easing some of his fear and anxiety a bit – at least for the time being. He relaxed.

 

 “Done.”

Mikasa ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it a bit to get rid of the last remainders of cut locks tangled in it before smoothing it again. Armin could tell by the feeling of it that he was lacking a considerable amount of hair. It felt a bit weird. He ran a hand through it too.

“Thank you. Do you want me to do yours too?”

She declined

“Not yet.”

He tugged a bit at his new haircut and looked up at his friend and thanked her again. She just shrugged and smiled warmly down at him. Armin then got up and helped her clean the mess of hair away.

* * *

 

Jean and the others were sitting around the common room while waiting for dinner time. He was puzzled. Armin had disappeared right after shower, saying he had something to do and Jean had no idea where he might be. Mikasa wasn’t there either, and Eren was brooding darkly in a corner of the room, a rather usual sight in the past few days.

Jean was currently trying to puzzle out the obscure rules of the game Connie and Sasha were playing. The young woman was getting slightly impatient waiting for them when Armin finally showed up, with Mikasa close behind. Jean suffered a moment of shock when he saw his friends.

Armin’s hair had been cut fairly short, in a fashion that suited him nicely, albeit being a bit surprising at first if you were used to the former haircut. Jean felt a smile spread on his lips. _Nice._ While Eren was complimenting his friend, he turned to Mikasa:

“Did you do that?”

She nodded, and he gave her a thumbs up

“Nice job, he looks great!”

Was that a tiny smile on the corners of her mouth?

“Thanks.”

He turned to see that Armin had blushed a bit and was now tugging  nervously at a lock of hair, looking a bit uncomfortable – which Jean found really cute.

Connie grinned.

“What’s the blushing for, Armin? Are you afraid Jean might be kinda right when he said it was great?”

The pink on Armin’s cheeks took on a darker shade, which only made Connie’s smile go broader.

“Only “kinda”?” Jean asked in a half-offended, half-teasing voice. “Man, that’s hard.”

Connie shrugged “I’m not getting any lessons from you about hair. You need a cut badly too. More than Armin did.”

This drew some laughter from the others as Jean ran a hand through his own rather-long hair. He flicked a glance at Armin, and answered in a self-deprecating tone:

“Me? Nah. I like it like that. I think I’m going to let it grow.”

He was only half joking. Armin raised an eyebrow:

“Are you saying that as a kind of retaliation?”

Jean grinned

“Maybe.”

The blond rolled his eyes as Connie snorted:

“You’re kidding. I bet you’re not going to do it.”

Jean decided to not answer this as they all made their way to the canteen. The light-hearted banter had lifted the mood, and it was great. On the way, Jean stole a glance at Armin as he was talking to Mikasa. The younger man was looking quite handsome. And Jean was definitely going to tell him that, later.  The cut made him look a bit older. More mature. He felt a sudden urge to ruffle the blond strands, but supressed it.

Looking aside, he caught Sasha’s gaze and was greeted by a knowing smirk. He glared at her.

“What’s that look for?”

Her smirk grew wider for a second before she managed to change it into a more neutral expression.

“Oh, nothing.”

Jean sighted and let that pass. Was he _that_ obvious ?


	2. Sharing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jearmin again, people !

 

Armin was changing to his nightshirt when Jean entered their shared bedroom. He knew that he could have had a room of his own thanks to his new status in the Survey Corps ranks, but he was fine with his current lot and hadn’t bothered to ask for one. Armin didn’t seem to mind either.

 “Is it only me, or is it really cold here?”

Jean looked up from rummaging in his stuff and studied his friend, brow creased. The blond had tiredness written all over his face. It was a bit worrying, but not all that surprising.

“I think it’s you.” He answered after a time “You look completely exhausted. Your body probably doesn’t even have the strength to heat itself anymore.”

Armin sighted and tucked himself deeper into the blanket.

“You’re probably right.”

Jean quickly put on his night clothes as well and went to blow the lantern off, when Armin’s voice rose again.

“Jean?”

“Mmm?”

“Care to join me?”

He was looking questioningly at Jean, who couldn’t help but smile.

“Sure.”

He put out the light and joined the young man into bed.

It was a habit of sorts they’d gotten. Simply sleep together, just for the warmth and nice feeling of having someone beside you. It was a bit cramped, of course, military beds certainly _weren’t_ designed for two people to sleep in them, but neither of them did mind. It was warm. Sweet. Reassuring, in a way. A simple thing to do. They didn’t always share a bed, thought. It was just something that sort of…happened, time and again, when they both were in the mood for it.

As Jean settled beside him, Armin smiled and shimmied a bit away to leave him some room. A moment of silence later, Jean got his arm out from under the blanket and laid it, palm up, on the small free space between the two of them. After a second, Armin put his own hand over it and Jean closed them, gently entwining their fingers. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the touch, and heard Armin chuckle softly.

The pose sadly wasn’t the most comfortable when you were attempting to sleep, so, after a time, they had to let go. As if to confirm how tired he actually was, Armin quickly fell asleep. Jean soon did the same, lulled by the sound of the young man’s soft, regular breathing.

If only it could last.


	3. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Jean and Armin again, with some Arumika toward the end because I love these two's relationship.

_Distant voices. Whispers. Someone begging. Presences that have nothing to do here. Things he shouldn’t even know. Things he shouldn’t even remember. A faint note of hatred. Despair. Fear. People and faces, everywhere. Regrets. Hope. Timeless events. Long gone voices. Something wrong, so completely wrong. Pain. Echoes of what once was and is long gone yet somehow remains. Memories, not his, not entirely anyone else’s’ either. Fear and pain, more of it. Were they his?_

_He?_

_Who was he again?_

_Stronger voices. Someone crying. Hands tugging at him, demanding attention. A giant skinless head glaring down at him. Something wrong. Something…_

“Armin. Armin!!”

Someone was mercilessly shaking him. With a shout, he jolted back to the present. Breathing raggedly, he lifted his eyes to meet those going with the pair of strong arms that were keeping him upright.

Hazel eyes. Dishevelled hair and a very worried look on his face. For a second, Armin didn’t know who that was and started backwards. Then, reality clicked back into place and he recognized Jean.

The other boy stared at him for a half a second more, then retreated a bit, taking his hands off Armin’s shoulders. He was still watching him intently, but from a distance.

“Sorry. I… know it’s not a good idea to wake someone like that… But you were really starting to frighten me. And you wouldn’t wake up.”

Armin tried to speak but found he could not. The remnants of his nightmare were already fading quick, leaving only a trail of fear and a dull pain in his head. Still trying to calm his uneven breath, he was vaguely aware of Jean walking a few steps away. There was some clinking and, a moment later, the taller boy crouched beside the bed with a cup full of water.

“Here. It should help.”

Armin drank gratefully and felt his head clear a bit.

“Thanks.”

Jean smiled.

“You’re welcome. Feel any better?”

Armin nodded and sat a bit more upright, sliding toward the edge of the mattress.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

Jean waved that aside.

“Don’t worry about that. I was only half sleeping anyway.” He paused a moment, biting his lips as if hesitating, then finally asked:

“Was it… _them_ again?”

Armin rubbed his arms, a shudder coursing through him. He knew what Jean meant by that. The nightmares had been there for months now, irregular but always, always coming back. There were those his own mind was building with what he knew and his own emotions. Those were bad enough. And then, there were the others, which weren’t entirely his own, thought he couldn’t be certain of that because they escaped him as soon as he woke up, crumbling to dust within a heartbeat, until only fear and uneasiness remained.

Once again, he searched his mind, trying to remember something, anything about it. He hated not knowing so much.

“There were…people. I think? Or just their memories? Or was it me? I…”

Jean almost immediately cut through his faltering effort to remember:

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Stop this please. You’re trembling again. You’re doing yourself no good.”

Opening his eyes – he didn’t even remember closing them – Armin saw that his friend was right. His hand was shaking so much that the cup he was still holding was threatening to fall. He felt Jean take it away as he concentrated on breathing slowly in and out to calm his shivers.

“Armin?”

“It’s ok. Can I have some water again, please?”

“Sure.”

As he drank again, he could feel his friend’s eyes still fixed on him. Jean sat beside him for some time afterward as Armin gathered himself, a hand gently set on his arm, not saying anything.

“You think you’ll be able to, hem, sleep again?” he finally asked.

Armin stared at his hands. Could he? Memories flashed through his mind. No. Probably not.

“I don’t know.”

Meeting Jean’s gaze, he added: “I think I’m just gonna…sit there and think for a while.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” He managed a half-hearted smile. The worry and care in his friends’ voice was heart-warming. “But, Jean, there’s no point in you staying awake, too. Better take what sleep you still can.”

Jean raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t comment.

“Okay.”

He started retreating but stopped at the small table bearing the lamp he probably lighted before waking him, playing with the handle:

“Armin?”

“Yes?”

“Promise me you’re at least going to _try_ to sleep again later on.”

Armin chuckled. He knew him too well. Jean was still standing a few feet away, waiting for his answer. Sighting, he answered:

“I promise I’ll try. Thank you for waking me up.”

Jean nodded at that, then turned the lamp off. Armin very much appreciated how he didn’t insist. His gaze followed the taller boy’s shadow as he got back into his own bed. He noticed Jean turned himself so as to face him and felt a small smile twitch the corner of his lips.

* * *

 

It took Jean a long time to fall asleep again. So long that he felt he had closed his eyes for no more than a few minutes when Armin’s voice roused him in the morning. A hand nudged him firmly.

“Wake up. Or you’ll be late and have no time for breakfast before work.”

Groaning, Jean sat up, rubbed his eyes with the feeling he hadn’t slept at all, then set about to find his clothes. Armin was already dressed and sat on his bed waiting for him, rubbing his temples. By the look of him, he hadn’t slept much either – if he had slept at all, which Jean doubted, given the huge bags under those blue eyes.

When they finally showed up for breakfast, Jean saw that Armin hadn’t been kidding him just to get him out of bed: everyone else was already seated and almost finished with their meal.

“You look awful, you too.” Sasha greeted them around a full mouth. “Did you even sleep?”

Jean shrugged an answer and sat down. Mikasa, who was sitting opposite Armin, was staring intently at her friend. He was looking at his food as if it disheartened him to even think of eating. She gently set her hand on one of his.

“Armin?”

He met her eyes and managed a small smile.

“It’s ok, Mikasa. I’m just…tired, is all.”

Her gaze quickly shifted to Jean, one eyebrow slightly raised in a questioning manner. Jean gave her the confirmation she needed by silently mouthing the word “nightmares” and her attention went instantly back to Armin. She gently squeezed his hand.

Jean noticed Sasha and Connie had been following the exchange from their end of the table, looking concerned. Eren, who hadn’t said anything until then but had been closely studying his friend, finally spoke.

“You should try to eat, Armin.”

Just that. He hadn’t been following his own advice, obviously, and sure enough, Mikasa pointed that out to him before Jean could.

“Eren, you should do the same. You haven’t touched your food either.” A pause. “But, Armin,  he’s right. Try even a bit?”

“I know, I know…”

With that, he got back to his food, but without much enthusiasm. Mikasa gave him a warm, encouraging smile.

Jean could literally feel his eyes try to close themselves again, and had to fight against this urge. Given his look, Armin probably had a similar problem.

_Long day ahead._


	4. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set right after chapter 105 of the manga. So, beware of spoilers !  
> Mostly Springlestein (is it the way it's called ? I think so) and some Jearmin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, forget what I said when I began writing these Moments. Given the state the manga is in, I have a hard time writing happy things. Sorry for that. This particular chapter has been sitting in my drafts forever. More than two months, actually. It was more or less finished, it just needed some re reading and a few corrections but I never came around to do it and type the text (my drafts always are handwritten). So, finally, here it is.

Jean closed the door softly behind him.  The last meeting he had to attend was finally over. He needed to sleep badly but first wanted to check on his friends, who he had left in the small common room. None of them had seemed eager to go to bed when he had left, and he understood why.

He quietly stepped further inside. Connie was sitting on one of the couches, staring into emptiness. He barely reacted to Jean’s presence, shifting his gaze slightly, giving a small nod and then returning to his own thoughts.

Jean felt his heart squeeze to see him like that and to know that he couldn’t even really do anything to ease his pain. Well, nothing else than just be here. He felt so damn helpless. So he just clapped a hand over Connie’s shoulder and tightened the grip gently in a comforting gesture.

Searching the rest of the room for the others, he saw that Armin had dozed off somewhat on the opposite couch, probably having given in to his tiredness. Despite all their efforts in the past years, his titan form was still eating at his strength at a rather fast rate whenever he used it. And everything that had happened today certainly hadn’t helped either. Jean was glad that at least one of them was getting something like rest. Mikasa was nowhere to be seen, but she probably was the one to thank for the thin blanket spread over Armin.

With a depressed sight, Jean dropped heavily down onto the couch beside Connie, rubbing his tired face with his hands. Memories of the attack and the rest of the day flashed through his mind, mingled with some older ones and dark thoughts.

Sasha…. He’d been so helpless, so incapable of protecting his friends. He should have been able to, though. It should have been possible. He might not have been the one firing the bullet but he had been in charge of this operation. It had been his duty to ensure the most of them came back alive while completing the mission. But he had failed so miserably. He’d been way too confident. Between that, all the people he’d had to kill – he still hated that, even if he knew he had to and did so without much remorse, this was war after all – and that kid he’d almost killed by purposefully shooting his Thunder Spear at him, he felt sick.

And then, there was the airship and that girl who’d suddenly showed up and killed Sasha… Of all people. Of all the soldiers on that airship, it had had to be Sasha. He felt bad about thinking this way, but it could have been anyone else. Anyone. Except it had been her. And he couldn't even bring himself to hate the girl for it.

Jean felt his throat tighten and with a muffled groan, he hid is face into his hands. This was too much.

“Jean?”

He started and lifted his eyes. Armin was sitting up on his couch, rubbing his eyes. As he straightened, the blanket slid from his shoulders to form a small heap around him but he wasn’t paying attention to it. Jean blinked his itchy eyes once or twice before asking:

“How are you feeling?” His own voice sounded so weary.

Armin didn’t answer, instead locking his eyes into Jean’s and returning the question:

“How are _you_?” He insisted on the last word.

Jean sighted. He could hear the worry in Armin’s voice. To avoid that piercing blue gaze, he got to his feet and started pacing the room restlessly. He felt Armin’s eyes follow him around, waiting. Jean finally stopped in front of the window, staring at the darkness outside, dotted by yellow spots in the few windows that were still lit in the nearby buildings.

“It’s my fault.” He finally heard himself blurt out.

He was pretty sure both of the others were now staring at him but he kept talking, very much incapable of stopping now that he had begun. He felt one of his fists clench in frustration and heaved in a shuddering breath.

“It’s my fault. I…should have been more careful. Made sure we stayed focused until we left Marley entirely. I was responsible for this operation, damn it!” He breathed in, trying to get rid of that knot in his throat.

“I failed. I was careless, and it…”

He felt his voice thicken to the point he couldn’t even speak properly anymore. An irrepressible sob choked him momentarily. He knew he wasn’t being entirely rational, that there were things he wasn’t responsible for, but the guilt was there anyway. And that wasn’t even half of what bothered him.

_It cost her her life._

A hand was suddenly set on his arm and squeezed gently.

“Jean.” Armin’s voice had a slight tremor to it. He hadn’t even heard him stand up. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have… Even if you’d stayed extra careful, it… something like that might have happened anyway. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“Dude it’s not your fault.” Connie’s voice cut through the pause that followed Armin’s words. “Of course it’s not.”

Jean turned toward them, his gaze slightly blurry. Right now, he was at a loss for words. There was just too much to process. He saw Armin hesitate for a second before pulling him into a hug. Jean let out a muffled sound of surprise. His arms seemed to move by themselves as they wound across Armin’s shoulder and tightened the embrace. Armin’s hand was lightly rubbing his back, and Jean felt tear start to run down his cheeks. Judging by Armin’s uneven breath, he was crying too.

A moment later, he felt Connie join them by grabbing his shoulders and pulling him in. Jean took in a shaggy breath, hugging Connie back too.

A quiet sound made Jean lift his head. Mikasa had come back without him noticing. She looked quite haggard, too. She was staring at the three of them with an expression that was a jumble of pain, worry, sadness and even…fondness?

Half a second later, she was also joining them, linking one arm with Armin’s and awkwardly patting Connie’s arm with the other. Her friend freed one of his arms from Jean and wound it around her.

Despite the pain, grief and exhaustion, the moment held dome sweetness to it. It became impossible to tell who was comforting who, but it also didn’t matter. They all needed this moment, this time together. Despite how awkward it might look, the four of them like that. Even if the absence of a certain young woman in their midst was very much palpable right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to write something like that because I think Jean would at least partly blame himself for Sasha’s death. And also, because I needed to give them some comfort. Like, I want to hug them but of course I can’t so instead I wrote them hugging each other. :D This scene seemed very natural in my head but, somehow, now that I have written it, I feel it might come across as forced?  
> I also feel the way the text ends is a bit weird? But it’s been so long, I have no idea if I planned to ad something or not and I'm too tired to do it now…
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feel free to tell me what you think! I’m also on Tumblr (I’m @Merianiwrites)


End file.
